i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
