NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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