And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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