So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
