omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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