Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
