this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Barsexuality is the new black.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
