you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
did i walk over a car last night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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