if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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