An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
