She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
