i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
