I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
