too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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