Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
