I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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