Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
