You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
