I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
