Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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