Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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