shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
