I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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