No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize