don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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