I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
