woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
