We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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