his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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