I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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