i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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