I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
