dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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