You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
