Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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