dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
