Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
