I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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