we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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