I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
