the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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