she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
