so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
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