Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
