Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize