last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
