It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
