oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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