I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
