on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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