So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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