I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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