I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
