Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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