how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
