We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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