I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
