butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
