If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
