she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
