google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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